How to Maintain a Relationship with In-Laws

 

For newlyweds, the first year of marriage is usually an ideal time to know more about each other intimately, create your own customs and build a home together. Even though it sounds exciting, it can also be very frustrating. It can be very difficult to blend two different people with distinct experiences, backgrounds, expectations and family histories. According to many newlyweds, building a relationship with in-laws is one of the biggest challenges they face.

Most admit that it gets to a point where the relationship with in-laws affects the stability of a marriage. It isn't surprising that sometimes, adjusting to your In-laws and vice versa can be an issue. If they are reluctant to let you in, don't rush it. Just imagine the time and energy they spent raising your partner — it can be so difficult letting go and trusting someone else with them. They can doubt your ability to provide for his or her needs just like they did.

In-laws can have high expectations of you and your spouse that might put unnecessary pressure on you. For instance, now that you are directly related to them, they might expect to be seeing you a couple of times a week. They might expect that you will be available during every holiday and special occasions. Furthermore, they might expect you to freely follow their culture or tradition without question. In most families, these differences are not openly discussed until they cause a conflict. Do you want to improve the relationship with your in-laws? This article discusses tips on how you can do so. Read on to find out!

Understand and Expect New Culture

Normally, it is very difficult to quickly assimilate into new traditions and culture. Marrying into a new family is pretty much the same. You will be introduced to different beliefs, customs and new ways of doing things. All that needs time to learn and understand. Given that handling things in a particular way becomes self-centered, it makes people forget of the hidden expectations. Some of the most hidden expectations like financial support for the family are rarely mentioned. It is important that as a couple, you discuss what expectations your families might have. Don't hesitate sharing with your spouse as soon as you are aware of them.

Given the complexity that comes with in-law relations, it can be very easy for a misunderstanding to occur between you and the in-laws. And it is normal, you just don't know them well enough to express your feelings or how you feel about things. Therefore, you can easily be offended by a well-meaning comment. It is important to take things less personally, and learn to do things differently. Before judging, put yourself in other people's shoes, and try to reason with them. Be open-minded when judging other people's intentions and comments. Treat your in-laws with a similar approach, and watch your relationship with them improve.

Build Relationships

It takes time an effort for a relationship to grow, and the same applies to the relationship with your in-laws. Try and spend time with your new family, be it through dinner, holidays or birthday parties. By spending time with them, you are giving them an opportunity to know you better. This increases love and affection. It is also important to be proactive. According to marriage specialists, couples should find out what their in-law's love languages are. Find time and learn how your in-laws want to be loved and treated, and love them in that manner. This will greatly improve your relationship with them. Sometimes, you can simply express love through words of affirmation, acts of service and physical touch. Build a strong relationship with your in-laws with these small but significant acts.

Fix the Differences as a Team

It is very normal to disagree with someone. Similarly, there will be things that you won't agree with your in-laws. Sometimes, newlyweds find themselves at crossroads when it comes to in-laws. The key to a successful marriage is loyalty to each other. As much as you should honor your parents, you need to put into consideration your spouse's feelings and well-being. As newlyweds, it is very important that you present a united front. When it comes to resolving a conflict with your in-laws, work as a husband and wife, not son and daughter. Working as a team will solidify your position and more likely, earn your in-law's support. How can this be done? Well, before going out to face your in-laws, discuss the matter as a couple. Argue the facts out and establish a common stand. This is the opinion that your In-laws should hear. It is very important to work as a unit when dealing with the in-laws. As newlyweds, you will be in a much better position with a united front than a divided one.